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Hypocrisy (n) Simulation of virtue: dissimulation, pretence. Hypocrite (n) person guilty of hypocrisy, dissembler, pretender.

In the 1970s, when justifying the so-called 'super grass' system, the then Commissioner for the Metropolitan Police, Sir Robert Mark, said, "It is not in the public interest for there to be honour amongst thieves".

They used to say "A little of what you fancy does you good" and, in the case of at least two members of the Institute of Cricket Umpires & Scorers, that is most certainly the case.

Remember Anthony Farnfield and Ken Say? One was the Chairman of the Examinations Board before he resigned to spend more time with his signed photograph of Barrie Stuart-King whilst the other was the nearly-man of ACU&S - he was nearly the General Secretary until his involvement with the Apostles Group became public knowledge.

Many of you will be aware that the Apostles Group and their heir and successor in title, the ICUS, have made much of their desire to only be a 'fall-back position' for ACU&S in the event of its demise (not that they wanted that, you understand) and they have spent much time and energy vilifying ECB OA (Independent officials deserve official independence - remember that one?).

Of course you should not become members of the ECB OA; you should join the bright new future in the Institute (and be institutionalised, perhaps?). But for them …? Well, of course, for them it is different because, of course, they know the reality of the whole situation.

The ECB OA, when not involved in child sacrifice and other such nefarious activities, actually run all the senior cricket in England & Wales and the likes of Farnfield and Say are not going to miss out on their little goodies. Accordingly, while exhorting you to fight to the last man and the last bullet, they have joined the ECB OA! And paid their subscriptions!

Don't believe us? Ask your local County Board representative to look at the list of ECB OA members and check the names of the Kent area members. It's all there in black and white

But don't you worry. You do what they tell you and ignore ECB. The fewer of you there are, the more matches there'll be for them!

We wonder which of the Apostles they are - Judas Iscariot?