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The AGM and the 'Cuckoo' Cabinet

Cuckoo:
Cuculus canorus, dove-sized bird, a summer visitor with parasitic habit, its eggs being laid in the nests of other birds whose own eggs it frequently destroys.
Adj. (slang) Crazy, idiotic, bizarre.

The AGM of the Association of Cricket Umpires & Scorers, held yesterday (25th March) at Lord's was notable for one thing, the absence of many General Council members involved in setting up the alleged 'fallback' but actual competing rival body, ICUS. They might be termed the 'Cuckoo' Cabinet.

Did this absence indicate contempt for ACU&S and its members? They played little part in the AGM until Mr Anthony Farnfield came to the microphone trumpeting that his hero Barrie Stuart-King - his expulsion from ACU&S avoided by resignation - paid £14,630 to ACU&S recently. As someone commented, only another £86K to go. Near the end, Mr Fielden, invited to speak on ICU&S and its plans, disdained to move from his seat and declined to reveal anything before the General Council meeting of April 8th. There the majority Cuckoo Cabinet will be able to act in the secrecy they love. Members will be told only what the Cuckoo Cabinet and Tony Bastable, their media officer - once ours, now working mainly for ICUS - decide is good for us.

A year too late, ISP were thrown out as auditors and, similarly overdue, Peter Freeman resigned before the meeting. He has, of course, heavy responsibilities within ICUS. Keith Smith's failure to attend, his term of office concluding, typified his contribution. Better can be expected from his successor, Stephen Wood, though like Dave Burden, both he and the new chairman may find themselves outvoted by the Cuckoo Cabinet.

Standing in for Freeman, Deputy Treasurer Martin Reed, understandably finding the proceedings slightly comical, ran through the items of the accounts, providing neither explanation nor apology for Finance Board and Council negligence. It may be that the loss for the year has been understated by £25K.

Hopes for the future were voiced, but the grim reality is that this may have been the Association's last AGM. The Cuckoo Cabinet will go ahead with its plans, hoping to persuade enough ACU&S instructors and examiners to enlist to enable them to hold ECB to ransom by threatening sabotage of its training role. In this event, even if ACU&S survived to October, subscription income would be insufficient to continue.

However, prospects for the Cuckoo Cabinet's ICUS creation are hardly any brighter. Companies set up by Barrie Stuart-King and colleagues appear to have a limited life expectancy. Two to three years seems to be the average after which they succumb to the pricked balloon syndrome. The repetitive and rambling 'Renaissance' diatribe from Mr Bastable (but with frequent King-like phrasings) is typically short of any financial detail. If Stuart-King enjoys his usual degree of success - nothing discernible yet - in raising sponsorship, the members will have to be ready to bail them out.

Reading this offer of an 'alternative home' for umpire and scorer members, the phrase at the foot of the Charterhouse Enterprises advertisements comes to mind. It reads: Your home is at risk if you fail to maintain payments.